HR MEMO
To all Employees:'Gjy5@ \4A I/S9|> > Effective January 2007
> >
> > Dress CodehF T3a%H*U(f*X
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume|r:WGk9Q
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4W\ ~.o6IlL5Qw
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where youV\|;f X5tX:xez
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.%R4?.v;Q&t'ql
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate asp u0lT)s!\$C
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work. e'e mZ0p?}
> >
> > Holiday DaysM&F xF \(S UY
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. a _ GS~U
> >:Q)yAi.Gz9P
> > Compassionate Leave H2]r3j~
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothingr'Am;c+m;ci
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.!|h m6vs7R4^7Z
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the#],Q)IO6y:_ l%@ePd
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one!y5V"C/Q0g"U$p
> > hour early.
> >-cl6EO0i,S P1Y\(d i
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the0d0APJ$\-T
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit$o r"sQ8E$]-?,V4H:G
> > in the cubicles. ^ c:w s:_C;LW6Y
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.7r I2w `8mQ#h\6P
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will beg2a0c(O4eOT
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will beK6c/zB#MR
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health~!v-i8Mql`4g"a
> > policy.K _i$y*K3A-J
> >
> > Lunch BreakA_ _5Q6Su@
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.m$@B5A}#s4w
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.5M(qJ9WQ#]n
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive?)W!eG"V#D LvL
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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