HR MEMO
To all Employees: C!Y g:P J%g5?> > Effective January 2007
> >
> > Dress Code,gMV6b Q-l)p)u5D
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume'IC)m&jgi%| @_
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.B }Q/Q$d
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to managehm0V-?c&v d C+T ]
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer9K\*C}RLL~ G
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.2R1l CoAl
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where youm` El(^]R/A|e+X
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate asL(i|w f6@
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able C/T d9JC2r [}1[
> > to come to work.6g%qL(~;~a
> >
> > Holiday DaysY r/ez)m p#B
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.#s$i m,O5~#@
> >+JkH']O {;w
> > Compassionate Leave~1G Cg2Y4wh(j.O
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co- zbd3Pl"a m7w8p
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave oneCh8W:i3l(YKt
> > hour early.
> >
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit"]:z S Z^ Os B%J
> > in the cubicles. hH;m g"tc WM }"}
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.8o0c ci%a lS#P
> >b'?"],N A0^ `(G
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they)?+|)A_ ^9X
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,o*Kp H&p
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be by.@Y y1f+B
> > directed elsewhere.
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