HR MEMO
To all Employees:.q G+N]}+yP v)Y {> > Effective January 20076Oo%j2? g#_'N8V1w
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed0V:L5Z3xI B/z
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing$Ge1||4J G(O]
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not:X1v)O k/d.w&S
> > need a pay raise. yx6V!h;WP
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage ] T6G+P N SM)}
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicerw:v&aR a7_f
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you6CM ^&eo(? yz zv
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a payk^!\H3C$l
> > raise.
> >w/X+m^7P#M
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate asE R#H3] yNM _
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.
> >
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.l s PJ w]um
> >"aC4`#I)G@/o^|
> > Compassionate Leave#Sd1y_2D[f'_
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing EoCYKb Sa A
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is T8P!K6y*O@:Xq'A O^
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in thes0b+N$N:Y `
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.
> >3K:a sC"@z4sH
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the| My.z8t
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit2J)I*i ~A1t^A7q
> > in the cubicles.!T3L%} Qq
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm willA r9i Z&u"rwL^
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.!_ Ba9\!|$v W
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.2n.I)G Jz7a A,R4H
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be(@ d Uk.bP ['I,~
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.9D:K w Q/A5AbpA
> > B9Jp-^T
> > Lunch Break JY1i+@0by
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.y5O4sS7{ U$w0X&|
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal toyr yZ.o
> > maintain their average figure.S L _Y7B
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time.EY vV&s
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.*nf,Y"G Gb
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are"_\ yJ T s5vX
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positivem;@ Z:P I5K!W
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,0A(Hg#OE#k!x B2}`@
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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