HR MEMO
To all Employees: s)FU6M IM,Q> > Effective January 2007
> >:w z S2_K
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed6v9C0t&Y0p+jHX J C
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.^PZk!Q]
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage,{fBdx wT
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicerC;dS^P Uf g;GP&f
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.6b"b3A*tZ O+M cS
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay-v(i(v A*U,\
> > raise.j DW'sH8` x/A
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as-Y!Kh:H:t:c {
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able u A J4Kr
> > to come to work.
> >
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a Db6Up y;a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >
> > Compassionate Leave$ME5] vJ
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing3J rqA2k
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-1^ I y8q ^'{2n1SY
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.~ ^ [R M j+F#q
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is{`&o!u5mQ n-^3g
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to workAz:Ccx\:@*q+_H
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave oneT?m"W6k ~j M
> > hour early.Cw `+p Rf `)y5F0a
> >
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in theL v kV$PZ
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit-y)nb;o;|W#Y9C
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will`Ln H4I I']v"~
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.#N6_;w@ D%V3Q0o
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the!VH d m5N_I/]V5c
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will beir&V e{ \-|1w,W+M6h
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.
> >
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the timeG0D;[#X'x0p`
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.!p#{5O"g ]4YU'l~
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positiveq)r$]k6~
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, F d d5I%D YrM
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should beWzAjX#hA
> > directed elsewhere.
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