HR MEMO
To all Employees:&E k2v wRfxV7ha> > Effective January 2007
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressedI4k j_ To K L-Q
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise.
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where youMy4R!J;g:?
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.f9w!Y m ]"i
> >,_+w5g9F sXs!P d B a
> > Sick Days2f2[+{[ W Q#| j
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.
> >
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a4vH [6m_p2Gm
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday."m` sx*Q0t0|)SX%h0K
> > r F@7nL!T"CM8y
> > Compassionate Leave P8GH](M8G
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing O/]K)R q H6gQ
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-!Q4V(H2UG R#B
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is^*YB w!U)i V"~7]
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one oA,@Hk7LC o
> > hour early.
> >f7Z7L!aPj_4q
> > Toilet Use @+yZt{3G}#L Q
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the;Ys`k dIq
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit(WnY2K;P4Ql&IU k
> > in the cubicles.;H"@Q o-zC W%Q!Y;~
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicleM ls5z3L L$K&PV8e;T
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will beH1n"{ K2ee
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health!W!F#mrn h
> > policy.
> >
> > Lunch Break
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they,H6X1`M6k1G)KF8?
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive Z u|+z^?Mu R:A
> > employment experience. Gb0M5t#We t~+c
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,I6u R$L sm
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,&FG2uL_:K
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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