小弟的..............”傑作&quot;意見收集區

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發表於 2006-4-13 05:17 PM | 只看該作者

小弟的..............”傑作"意見收集區

http://www.26fun.com/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=109868&fpage=1
由於今次是小弟第一次作一些比較長篇的小說，因此希望得到大家寶貴的意見，多謝．

收藏分享讚好

.

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發表於 2006-4-13 07:06 PM | 只看該作者

Originally posted by 155220 at 2006/4/13 17:17:
http://www.26fun.com/bbs/viewthread.php?tid=109868&fpage=1
由於今次是小弟第一次作一些比較長篇的小說，因此希望得到大家寶貴的意見，多謝．

too short , 內容過分簡單 , 47分

http://www.xvideos.com/video451827/rio_filter-074_babe_filter-037_and_squirt

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發表於 2006-4-13 07:08 PM | 只看該作者

Originally posted by CHECSS at 2006-4-13 19:06:

too short , 內容過分簡單 , 47分

可以點改善？

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發表於 2006-4-13 07:18 PM | 只看該作者

Originally posted by 155220 at 2006/4/13 19:08:

可以點改善？

long d , 內容多d , 複雜 d

http://www.xvideos.com/video451827/rio_filter-074_babe_filter-037_and_squirt

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發表於 2006-4-13 07:18 PM | 只看該作者

Originally posted by CHECSS at 2006-4-13 19:18:

long d , 內容多d , 複雜 d

每一章寫幾多字好？

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發表於 2006-4-13 07:23 PM | 只看該作者

Originally posted by 155220 at 2006/4/13 19:18:

每一章寫幾多字好？

about this at least :
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http://www.xvideos.com/video451827/rio_filter-074_babe_filter-037_and_squirt

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發表於 2006-4-13 07:23 PM | 只看該作者

Originally posted by CHECSS at 2006-4-13 19:23:

about this at least :
xxxxxxxxxx...

咁寫幾多章好？

.

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發表於 2006-4-13 07:24 PM | 只看該作者

Originally posted by 155220 at 2006/4/13 19:23:

咁寫幾多章好？

don't mind this

http://www.xvideos.com/video451827/rio_filter-074_babe_filter-037_and_squirt

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發表於 2006-4-13 07:24 PM | 只看該作者

Originally posted by CHECSS at 2006/4/13 19:24:

don't mind this

just you like

http://www.xvideos.com/video451827/rio_filter-074_babe_filter-037_and_squirt

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yorker

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發表於 2006-4-14 09:06 AM | 只看該作者

歷史故事好難寫得好架~
因為個結局通常都已經有左規限~

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