娛樂滿紛 26FUN's Archiver

tonylo 發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM

HR MEMO

To all Employees:
1~1Hx/k D)u > >                     Effective January 2007p/b7{ B O#o{xR
> >
[-Ddv9LgUc > > Dress Code
;z ^+\k7n:{nL > > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
zp-Qg:V S,aR-`0v#] > > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
n6I\V0fItue > > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assumet~Xwyn*Z
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do notEe;O%iT!W2D
> > need a pay raise.
!IcuOm o > > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
w;}S$n-Y E > > your money better, so that you may buy nicer{0\n5u]dV5[@
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
\s jK4XGZ > > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you'f#D w N1vC;c2YrgtRO
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
oR8~`g'v > > raise.0r ^e|#]U5q2P}
> >6ya0G F'Wwku)w
> > Sick Days
:Re-X1Z7t9I > > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
!s.]A)z5AV u > > proof of sickness.7h0H/v4Fz4X_MhX&C
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are ableT BK"RIWA
> > to come to work.,f/F p6T G7b"T5^wD)Fp-H
> >
8j$W7d+K\]7TE > > Holiday Days X6{y3^J
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days aE {.tq+D:Rhe!Oh
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.3]i1o[.y ID5S
> >~uOt0Cz*{"VL
> > Compassionate Leave'`Jc]?5X h
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothingh5@,n.r[$wy.\y
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
8d OIuu > > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-`L;{nIK3a1g
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
5i\ U,Y*[g w\@3x9_'I > > In rare cases where employee involvement is9K/TR k(D-M'uI?%b
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
"C&v.]+J8ve t > > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
X%|'L}&p'Y > > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
;i(l#[@ t o > > hour early.0C1n}l4R.e(e)w:}
> >;j9|2jT~O
> > Toilet Use
%s j'FJ l{ > > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the(aO2ME X
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit7G"n\j+q'w,~!H.c
> > in the cubicles.
!W+o X;R4y+WL > > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
YoqIkpG*^d d > > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
$?_Q3[#Q'k > > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
;s8b]3sz1Xup8F:U > > 3. After your second offence, your picture will beI(I v2W#H
> > posted on the company notice board under the A5X0{{(]@{|U C@
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
e i)?E4R3Rvf|r r > > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be"Vi;^G1OX"jA
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
;i y$ay8Hr.Vi1jN(Za!O > > policy./f3a3d D$wt
> >
v0jS\ m8qX6? > > Lunch Break0oV"S.R Vz5`;J
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they:jb s,x1T L2{ _
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy..Oo~[A}
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal toK1y\NJ
> > maintain their average figure.;a6\S }(n5F
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
N9V R*l3t-s[ > > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.3`5\(Q0n$g
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
'Z-|*JLE > > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
.l`dK'PVSo > > employment experience.e)L!N)_fC D,o
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
^0P6^K\K%L > > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
j#oy-r g$?x > > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be-f{ F.}/F[}Q
> > directed elsewhere.

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