HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 2007/D k"mB#p Jh [
> >
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
> > need a pay raise. t wUpJ:WE
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage c S)B3Tx#^s4y2L
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise. q4Y:J;_.\b G
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay;jO4G`-uZ
> > raise.
> >
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are ableH5K L*g7o3K Y
> > to come to work..A {m"KQ6l3d X h0G s
> >
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >S0Q,XcA.N`!y)_
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing|6J Xr(z#Z M
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-}G8k t Y M
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is1\5~ Nl+B2t
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the#h o'K-c/XA,{
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to workYh,S vF:gWu
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one:Jf&y.f-UN,H3T
> > hour early.kv{T0x^
> >
> > Toilet Use uKMRA p5D S |)aG9H
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken./o6P'T0Gq+`:a \+B ]
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
> > posted on the company notice board under the
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be,I6ba ? u
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.,sCjR w G!G D![w |3~
> >
> > Lunch Break1H6L)~ B;^T2RFa
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure..}/{!v lwsN'Is
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the timel |2]{S'k
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
> > employment experience."c-F n:kN8r
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,B(L0l g:st
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be @'DZ ^E#u
> > directed elsewhere.
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