HR MEMO
To all Employees:> > Effective January 2007
> >D!mt Qi7@0T0?8JU
> > Dress Code
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearingDe XH[T'A'o0D
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume yxgFh;O y
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not1uV8V0D @0_zT
> > need a pay raise.!b-t$St"X$c5xY v
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.LBV0sw t7M
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you [W A q \ U2U&_
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
> > raise.X0Tt W fj
> >F"[3n3MIMb
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
> > proof of sickness.
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
> > to come to work.3d(]3Tt*?k2J
> > wj#a#J!J
> > Holiday Days
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a9VQ!TJ ul
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.J$y z4d#a2d/M
> >[8tX7i!n
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-/_u$iV Q gK+c
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non- ?0Y WS [*]S3x
> > employees attend to the arrangements.p;L;o'E#uO"j x*q
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is2q2N4_ b2X*|
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the.xqc c [+A
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early.P/H ~9S^&@2p2n
> >`n[2N.r'cX a
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in theok%U?"Me'R+]
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit&F:T)t { m s l$k(b
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will Ny.cLr Ef/^
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicleV U0g c&o5R)Z
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.E,E3[ ?'}5?5xz L
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be ar1E2z W
> > posted on the company notice board under theE6k$Lk%z!\(p }&E
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.k A4D|],X!q
> >
> > Lunch Breakf,[-T{5q2~
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as theyp,hB7tg;|
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
> > maintain their average figure.
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time;CZ%| F@~R
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast. H d!Nr0]:K
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are2A q7it9f;SU h3h
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive|+~pA F
> > employment experience.\hf*\3e4y5js"M
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,.i!aB QI:E5fd5buf R
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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