HR MEMO
To all Employees: h E!K?E!_5u&g> > Effective January 2007L0[F7| Vvh+p
> >
> > Dress Code5`&p2[4d;a'T
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume l4VT.L`s9|
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not9q9D%T V![ J
> > need a pay raise.8] IE"XaZ
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage8L V\Hr Z U2~
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer@d+S1Y~ ?
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you&Z }"| k} m
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay B"Q)E\`'SnM
> > raise.
> >H;z&E~B'v+Eh
> > Sick Days
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate asIE$z:ispR
> > proof of sickness.A6@3gT Dj
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able? ?;C F2c*l
> > to come to work.
> >,J\2?I `'\%z/u'r B
> > Holiday Days+X"J&v7I%O a7y2F
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a1?@"d~9q Rk(V\:u
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
> >
> > Compassionate Leave
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is&H{3wo7qra gy&R@ X[
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the B S!jE_/|
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to worke.w,_ceb7oe
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
> > hour early./H4Kl"R"x
> >
> > Toilet Use
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the2qvl't#M$~H6j-D
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
> > in the cubicles.
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will lAM3_ LT
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will begAkRX
> > posted on the company notice board under the JT2zf ed*d9R
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will bezk"e(C ~"LCI+H
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
> > policy.t:FUkuW:o
> >C+~4Q-L7W'm i+aI
> > Lunch Break4QNW-H3} \
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they@(kw{tp
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to5V/hS*VZx p
> > maintain their average figure.6p*MpG pR H
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.!~I;vG i3Nf F|
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive6Q'bT*I5Z } o v~u
> > employment experience.
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,.k3y0],C&Os a b3o5h
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
> > directed elsewhere.
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