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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:/ c% j: a1 ^& T9 }) K
> > Effective January 2007
' f1 i- {% H5 s9 z> >
D$ a! k5 B6 J. p4 B8 W- F> > Dress Code
9 o, F. A7 X; P, ?# C7 `> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed) {- j! u' Q/ P2 a i/ R$ V/ R
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing( {1 P% D) D% J1 ~: }5 o
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume* u3 ?- d9 |; R, U( ?2 _! L( ~# M
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
; j W; F g7 ] i! s> > need a pay raise.3 S. M1 h6 `: Y1 L2 F: }
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
$ w& p. d( r" R- x> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer5 Z/ Z# N) Q7 D0 y+ W- u
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
* x0 [. [& m6 X, {: |& w* |> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
2 m. W# U+ X- U. O5 b, W> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay4 K! W2 b* s2 ?0 E$ E; Y. |0 y
> > raise.3 R+ m7 K" L9 w+ R/ Q9 n
> >2 D' g) E. q V0 }
> > Sick Days
6 N+ i/ H3 n+ c# W> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
! b) t9 g/ q. C$ Q& v> > proof of sickness.
; l6 _0 x7 R( t+ Y> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
, G4 V9 j, i3 w! T> > to come to work.4 e; o3 ?! r- `1 ]& d, P, P- z
> >
4 e0 k$ I( K5 f u> > Holiday Days
9 T1 k/ ]5 H& e. {0 u7 {> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a( |. v" Y9 _0 i2 `+ h
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
, p. P, z S V/ j- X4 s+ d> >
' R3 {! H0 I7 ~& y7 C" Q* I> > Compassionate Leave
; ? \: }9 K8 v( m: @, X> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing/ k, L* Y" Z5 D( b, `. z
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-" M$ e+ g. c$ A. t# b" m9 N: `
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
2 L* E& U6 g* | I> > employees attend to the arrangements.2 {: l" u( P. I# x5 p
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is% W' T; n! U: i% d
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the, ^5 e: m% `8 a! h0 c4 Y4 F( |
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
7 Y- J- d' e+ e5 K2 d# X5 T) B0 T5 o: L> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one9 @, y( r* z' c" @
> > hour early.4 z/ y" P" t6 W5 R) x6 ^+ j9 r
> >2 J! X5 O" T! z, y0 y
> > Toilet Use- @; c9 r' N% J9 f
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
) J& u$ `, e g' Y+ D, B0 N> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
1 a |* P) ], l) r o2 S> > in the cubicles.. h2 J2 V+ x8 S* A% F! k6 `
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
, v* F: h, |0 P7 H* J> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle7 S% Q9 q4 a$ F' J5 K
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.! f% y2 C" U i* F3 W: s
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be+ L) d+ U5 t1 b4 H2 O* b
> > posted on the company notice board under the9 \) |8 u0 L0 h# A
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
: _; E2 o- ^1 R! \9 B# `; C) W0 {> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be1 S# d" S& N7 M9 |5 T
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
1 x% n: ^- P2 S# L> > policy.$ [0 {3 H0 [* [4 S) P
> >) p6 |# E2 H7 i, `' l
> > Lunch Break
5 i. [5 u6 h7 J! F> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they7 [. V1 i( O0 _0 m' F
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy." l$ T) D! t. D6 u! j) l( F
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
9 g6 c2 W0 Y& V) U' S" J6 z> > maintain their average figure.& |( W; Y" U# q5 E S1 I
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time, a! G F0 Q% n
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
5 w+ C: p5 t- R+ ?7 R> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are; e2 r6 v! u9 S5 V
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
) I- T9 Q* o6 P, J1 z: s> > employment experience.6 ~8 y. W# V0 t( T
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,$ R, N j% f/ J- ^
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,( n; f- m2 j3 Z# m
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
* G# B, s. I. f# I$ Y3 }& N> > directed elsewhere. |
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