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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
" t7 |, }$ R& s9 c5 s. k; ?1 h> > Effective January 2007! m# e. L7 j! v7 l4 K
> >) b* q& Z( l/ F/ A, M5 y2 E. {
> > Dress Code
+ j+ Z0 q Q: T+ D/ w( N> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
6 [8 f! @' c: w0 W' ]5 P* r6 P> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing& A C4 a* t- J: J0 a3 }
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume7 ]/ @5 C( _: _; A
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not5 ~* O9 L1 V- s5 H
> > need a pay raise.; w/ V0 ]0 G. w5 {) t) B
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
3 k& a2 X% V8 @/ g0 @( @, N& t> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer% g+ G$ `, ] }/ P: z' V
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.8 ^3 z5 y0 P# X$ i
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you5 G, ^. N+ i' I+ u2 v, s& o1 R- e* ^0 Y
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay, \* c9 W) Y+ G7 u" W
> > raise.
: E( {7 V' s* M9 k> >' y. V1 Y% k* D* d
> > Sick Days
3 _) e% g9 ~( @> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
. _$ v0 ~5 _" ]. E, P$ _, }; Q4 p> > proof of sickness.
1 [- x" n5 R8 g: g; I3 t5 U> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
! F9 w3 [9 s) m7 y- q0 _> > to come to work.% Q* A1 {8 u* v5 V' m* y" T
> >6 }& v& K5 H+ U9 v( h) ^
> > Holiday Days
) K) Z: w/ @7 u% S6 `: f> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
1 ]. w. R* a3 O" r, ^! P> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
. C" ^/ E3 R; i2 Z> >
7 Z' Y4 z* t9 M: Z$ ^> > Compassionate Leave) i4 Q7 i* Y7 |" s+ Q; M {
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing5 O4 n( R0 Y( N( ~1 I) \" I
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-0 U9 Z+ W/ k5 l! x: n
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non- n/ l: d& O4 H- @9 l1 R! i9 q
> > employees attend to the arrangements.. t/ ^' d/ H9 m* T. m! F: e
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
( I& Z3 x/ B1 a> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
5 O8 x* \! Q( g* W" q" v> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work# O- P J, k: S* u7 \3 U% k; Z
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one& H6 @* }, \7 k
> > hour early., w+ t5 ~' r @$ v
> >
; L8 U) B' B" k! C> > Toilet Use( R/ h( \, i. F, A
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
+ Q! p3 Y8 C- |% q* q> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit7 x2 T% j. {: x3 F$ _% Y
> > in the cubicles.
4 ?1 j3 z- y5 x> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
2 S, s. a! X) U( c> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle* w: D' r/ n9 z- t
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.4 F/ [0 @7 i1 D0 z
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be G2 v& Z+ J8 H- o! J2 L2 l, J( a
> > posted on the company notice board under the w, s: e& k$ Q
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.* g6 H$ x7 @! |. B& L
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
" a8 e6 B$ U% H% O+ R> > sanctioned under the company's mental health7 K. |1 f: B6 V+ C' |2 ]7 B
> > policy.
- O4 {. [6 y7 I> >& U' V2 J2 e0 B5 T6 @! R* O8 }
> > Lunch Break
. Q0 m5 X; ]. e6 X* A. R7 i> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they" S& J* j, D% ^4 E
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
3 M9 g6 |6 ~' o8 J) a3 ^% k8 ^> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to* D& H2 n9 ]' }0 [ \
> > maintain their average figure.
, G$ u( l& c& G+ S1 H> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
: ^3 D: y+ o9 H- S$ D" a! ~> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
& j6 y5 i: c: L6 _9 F. V> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are4 J" q& S& p) p+ ~" u
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
& n# d f: i: U+ W, _/ c) Y> > employment experience.
+ x8 w& ?$ E) F' V4 E0 t> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,2 k; K( ^% @' H' ]# H$ {$ P& i3 M1 ~
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
* G) ~ s% y3 d4 d6 A> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be; A6 z9 U: Z% r7 H) s3 ?
> > directed elsewhere. |
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