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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:6 P1 Y) g' g( k
> > Effective January 20071 ~( Z2 p4 R+ p% X6 \
> >" n- M# P/ ^' L5 f/ p7 Z7 V
> > Dress Code4 u5 a- c+ S1 W6 a# ?
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
% @+ U6 G8 z9 T4 l) ^+ S> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing2 M5 n' M$ V1 q, L/ {- B
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume; h4 Z. O; ]; L0 r
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
9 h3 N: b8 E. k' T> > need a pay raise.
+ E( j0 v9 r: V; [) v3 _> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage/ b' D' h3 z) C- @( b0 ^
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer5 h2 x2 T$ i9 t% \0 [& O- x. K! o
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise./ _0 U; Z6 F, l! Y
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
z& g4 `1 J" G> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
0 T( y' d/ h# A> > raise.
6 W$ F2 s5 S9 b/ t* l> >
9 Z6 B* n% r! L1 [> > Sick Days5 e* y/ d8 m( w7 M" o
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
8 O9 u( v- N8 u- }" x" _> > proof of sickness.7 j" m+ P1 X: d+ i& C. d
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
" m) k& B2 y% G+ a> > to come to work.
1 D' z% J; S: |6 g, c. ]> >/ F2 Z+ E! D# G7 R9 Y5 B
> > Holiday Days9 B; D+ S1 e) U/ |( D9 ~
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
' z6 x& z2 @$ b> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.: v- K9 g; ~. P; W( h" G S( j4 ]; A
> >
/ X1 _) U: A' D& D$ E# Q> > Compassionate Leave
0 H$ q$ Q* i5 h> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing. ?: I+ P2 b! N0 H
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
! K! k/ n7 t/ i> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
* ` J4 L# x) J7 e> > employees attend to the arrangements.
6 `3 T) S4 P- V) ^5 C' O& u* x4 @> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
7 v8 @6 b8 p/ l( j% ]8 Y> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
9 I4 T. p/ _: c> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
5 U- U/ ~& G5 [> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
( l2 d6 B/ G c8 o> > hour early.3 @ h6 \( s) ?
> >1 c6 N# R4 H* R2 f' f
> > Toilet Use
0 U( C1 \" g0 u5 K> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the" `. M$ B8 w" Z# |
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
, c; ` ~2 H1 V0 [> > in the cubicles./ ~* h! W7 h y8 K: Z
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
( a6 w$ J4 x5 A, X4 ]: c+ F+ U> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle9 @, J+ U! U I4 q" u3 @: v
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken. c4 h K) C2 o4 D" ^. f R
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be( B% |/ f5 W* ~' V6 u0 {
> > posted on the company notice board under the) h$ p9 d- a: W7 Y+ f2 @4 o
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.! T& w, e$ O/ N
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be. W$ n3 _- h. _3 y7 u0 j
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
; W, W1 }/ x# w& i> > policy.
, O. z, E8 ~- B0 f( g> >( P) V) \) ]" T( c# [5 f
> > Lunch Break6 X" E8 G: n4 b0 N0 ~: Z( E
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
! \! Y" e4 `9 U9 A$ ?" ?2 ^7 v> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
) r k5 m6 A2 `; F> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to* a7 i' f5 k% a$ Y' Z& F# w. R
> > maintain their average figure.
* Z) D5 M/ k: Z7 f' v0 Q/ P> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
; h1 U, w! M* g Z6 J> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
2 d/ I/ |5 B% Z. ~1 j> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are: F5 [7 [( K7 J7 q( e$ d* j/ N
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive3 T1 f9 r8 M9 w0 P% @9 Y' L
> > employment experience.9 h/ Z% U: O: ?0 z/ [
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
: q1 [/ [6 o3 {2 e1 K! [8 e- A, m> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
" k. _1 l$ o. a> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be$ K' k8 _" v: K0 ]7 J1 Y, _- q c
> > directed elsewhere. |
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