|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:7 ~3 J- s+ V1 L- l1 X6 @
> > Effective January 2007
0 [4 A: O1 Q. _8 _1 f: e. j( G, t> >
$ v/ s- r+ b& S$ `# m> > Dress Code7 C6 ?- N. A9 V; V# q! n
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
9 {" S! b1 u/ _; M% x9 C> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
9 W3 k( s: ?$ N4 K0 ^* M9 {* Q> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
% F3 n. t% n& L$ o) T6 @/ b& D> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
( ]) C) L) C. M/ ~( ?& \* i6 x7 S> > need a pay raise.: P- a$ [; P8 ~6 Q
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage: A5 Q4 O* T ?0 A4 U" a- l
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
& S; g' `# C9 k: e> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.5 r% M! g/ a/ D8 {0 Z4 g9 N
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
' f$ c8 |5 z: u- r> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
4 L( |9 Q) L2 B+ ~2 t, d: ~+ R> > raise.1 J M( @- ^1 H p4 d. q4 f
> >
{, @( X" {. P- f/ z$ @> > Sick Days
6 Q5 S5 j5 j0 K> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
/ q$ u- p9 T. P3 D> > proof of sickness.
+ p/ S: @+ X6 o; V# {> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
5 E; m9 y/ N! U( }> > to come to work.
0 b- l# V' k9 ?6 ?& d9 j. a: g> >! u$ k" f: I) S; P$ Y
> > Holiday Days; t; J% q' H" L; r8 Z+ O
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a& f. r7 ^6 f/ A1 _
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
# c, M% X/ h4 @! I. q- f> >
: v* f# T$ {- i, z9 p> > Compassionate Leave Q2 e# G4 X" R! C
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
" O6 X) ^/ y6 p! P+ t> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
7 e; k- Q1 c( _" k8 m> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
* G2 Z- U+ a, g P# l> > employees attend to the arrangements.
( m; j. Q& g8 r. \% x& J1 b> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
2 c; O) Y; b' S9 {6 S7 d$ M3 `! S> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the/ f5 k& j6 m' _8 B1 x
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work) |" R% h: Q+ F& S6 b9 H, }/ m
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
2 F G- s' y" y- e* J: C' ?6 D, z2 p+ r> > hour early.
( K6 B! ], k) q! q9 A3 X> >3 P. {- ~) `: }7 k; I5 B
> > Toilet Use5 \6 e0 V5 ~' z) y# x/ v# B1 J
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the* X8 }. t4 X' P- n
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
; }' M" D7 P/ e# w C' |: L, X> > in the cubicles.( F* d/ [/ n: m r6 h s
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
4 q' C/ T3 F' {$ x2 u" K> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
0 O6 t) c8 I; V3 ^> > door will open, and your picture will be taken. v8 A7 g, I& x( @& ^6 X2 F- A8 \
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
, r+ g8 o1 {3 c7 K+ S5 J> > posted on the company notice board under the
" I0 a' _" ^' K L5 o3 D> > "Chronic Offenders" category.' I/ ]( W0 I2 K+ q0 X
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
$ E6 |2 [* }1 C# A6 r) F2 M3 q* W> > sanctioned under the company's mental health! L5 g+ L9 x8 z2 ~& p: z
> > policy.
7 C/ D" O0 [$ x+ A1 ] I$ v8 l( `5 e> >; \; `4 u; u7 x- j
> > Lunch Break
* d' d$ A2 t2 w* R4 `& x> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; y* I0 t5 f* P: z+ q> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.4 {- ]) V; o2 n0 q/ H+ k
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
3 T' G. G% \1 d( {/ X) J' y> > maintain their average figure.
) S3 A; l5 e) r) _( O8 Y- |" @6 I: H$ ?> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
6 p0 K. y+ Z& u) a> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
% E8 g7 U( x5 M% o; k> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
% o7 ~+ \% D# `1 [% _> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
9 F9 p8 D! T( `, u% i2 w> > employment experience.
+ N; K# t" F6 I* d R' E# E> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
: ~+ p0 s: A- g- J5 U> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,9 ^9 U; L; W# ~; L
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
' l+ o- }3 ?* i$ U A/ G. w, d> > directed elsewhere. |
|
