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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:6 \4 r) \+ @; a7 |# v' v3 L; ]% n
> > Effective January 2007& L7 `1 Q @: e0 G
> >" j D2 q0 c" ]8 v
> > Dress Code
8 \1 P8 R0 E% `" I> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed; |9 k: \9 e4 ~$ n
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing5 i% @5 d; ~0 g: s3 t/ f/ S
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume8 O: _8 t3 T+ [+ U9 s! Q. a
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not' h+ E2 z5 B' d8 I' p* D% {
> > need a pay raise.% Y& L' c; b' ?& ]$ o
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage1 {/ v( n2 v, T
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer0 W! f% M/ q" ?6 z
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.+ `' ^7 \- I, l. u$ g2 W0 P. }
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
6 ?, Z# s, l9 Y7 @> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay3 ?% u; G+ J/ `( _1 _# m
> > raise.
" |3 @: z9 k; \, n. k7 E D> >
8 f7 f" G' m: ~9 U* Y2 f> > Sick Days! e K% h: ?" n# m3 ]% O$ h2 j
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
) V+ N& b0 s. X c9 C> > proof of sickness.
5 w6 j! ?1 t# L& C/ w0 r> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able" b+ b/ Z) ]& i) M* S6 W; H O/ g6 C
> > to come to work.. k+ R, F3 U& @& |* N4 L
> >
% {' v% `% t7 ~% N. H. `* ^> > Holiday Days
8 h! j2 d: U9 E! w> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a2 [% \5 g1 c4 f- U
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.4 `1 p; G7 Q! V+ t
> >
4 t- ~- H& |: {9 A$ Z# [> > Compassionate Leave! F5 B; M$ G _1 `( Z
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
/ F' c+ B3 c" n9 R, X, D2 t> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-5 ~; l5 ~9 {' |% U/ t5 I
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-: a9 d' T: S8 j: x0 i* A3 ?
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
7 |5 _1 n4 G \' F1 Y' F& I3 w> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
1 G5 q# \3 x! F" J% x$ r! S" {> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the0 k' s% x1 x+ s) @* x2 t
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work- g4 I2 y ^8 k
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
5 R: B' v4 C9 c5 ~$ u1 a> > hour early.
( P# m! b( U5 t1 K8 P> >0 F8 v1 B8 o' V, R$ \
> > Toilet Use
4 N+ e$ e/ h$ ]6 Q& C: a, U+ ?5 a> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
. g* D3 F7 H* o) M* U> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit) {& E8 ~! B& `/ a$ _ ~8 T
> > in the cubicles.3 y& K' B, r4 a! `2 _7 t% W- X& \
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will6 m8 d5 z+ `2 \
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle G" i2 J2 o4 }) d
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
5 C' T- V; |! V. x> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
- {) ?9 m. u6 e3 b* O> > posted on the company notice board under the* X) n6 p9 \$ p0 S' h
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.8 D& I5 F+ e( l+ Y+ y
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be( w: b1 ~7 s2 b! A
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
: d2 o [& [$ K& g> > policy.
7 t, I2 w8 ~: [/ Z/ x: w> >5 K: Y T. ~4 L, c4 \2 ?
> > Lunch Break" m- h d. f1 r* D. p* X
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they( m8 R, v/ e4 Y
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.& o3 U6 T7 P' ]9 I
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
3 K. g! @8 @6 X7 q> > maintain their average figure.
7 d0 d W# ~' l7 e# ^( d! _> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
% _+ x& z- R, z! j4 ^> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.6 C! E4 H% @3 e* t3 B. w% w
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are. `- `6 T' e; m! c9 l$ i
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive( A8 r. |% _/ p' }) L
> > employment experience.( w3 O* S* Z {5 Z
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,5 j& W* h0 x$ P$ p# |/ l5 k6 @5 j; K! i
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,$ I/ v- m' u; }3 N' `4 Q$ T
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
" [. H" [! l i. W, Q+ G0 B+ T> > directed elsewhere. |
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