|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:' v, l, ~* I2 E0 S2 J; t
> > Effective January 2007! }" K5 ? \; B
> >5 V# B. S* _# a9 H6 {/ L0 G
> > Dress Code) d3 f1 |% P( \8 a
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
c1 z" I% X3 e% D8 y> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
0 @2 U5 }: R8 z8 T) j- v. |> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
9 C% C4 y: t( h> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
! w) Z8 z7 m" ^, |> > need a pay raise.
$ D/ G8 A* \, A& ^0 x- H> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
5 i4 ] J+ e3 s3 i7 j& x1 G> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 H' m+ B* k8 I+ U7 O
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
/ z$ a8 J* }# F8 S* z> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
- t9 ?1 u) r! z! e6 u> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
P5 a! P1 l7 ]( g! i: y+ G+ v> > raise.
: |! F5 Z! x9 c) f o/ Y> >6 y/ r* p2 I4 X$ s" Y) S
> > Sick Days& \! [+ e% ?2 d
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
- c7 |3 x6 l' R$ N$ `" o: e* F; X> > proof of sickness.
- {( E1 D5 M) z, F> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
* [( j: E( y3 g5 o, s) X: Q> > to come to work.
8 E; \# ]7 |4 V4 j8 G- A> >5 B3 @/ c3 j9 r: \! E6 b& @6 d
> > Holiday Days. W# t- L- Z; r C; R& [ ?4 I
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
6 S, M* m. s, d, r% l> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday. j: M8 I7 b; k! s7 e. t
> >
8 A9 t$ ]+ U" N3 B> > Compassionate Leave+ h' \( v5 K& r8 P' {: i
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing& N7 H @, N# F$ D( c) @
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
2 v7 Q: I1 U G> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
# A, Y6 |) |2 f9 A* D> > employees attend to the arrangements.
: D3 Y" b; X+ _) A B. D> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
6 L4 l! s$ Q) w- v. X2 H> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
* Z! m- W% X# Q, o6 D> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) ]$ L5 l+ j8 c> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one1 m) p9 N: J4 R4 E
> > hour early.& v. d! o2 p- v* x
> >
/ X" v0 y+ \2 @9 v> > Toilet Use2 G9 A; a _( d( i0 f
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the/ u' D+ Q8 W U# W
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit) C# d- E* k3 i9 i$ T
> > in the cubicles.+ f6 o/ [8 r, E3 z5 S( o' m
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
1 c. Y" d6 ]8 M5 {. b> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle5 `/ R" z; V( G4 U- w" T# H
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken. R' ]0 i- t7 W1 y, N" h
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
- A% {' ~2 K$ C; O# T: |> > posted on the company notice board under the
$ ?. H4 _: e0 U; x2 a- H" s> > "Chronic Offenders" category.; M! E, M, i6 G" L: I
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
" \: v& p0 ?4 F; u> > sanctioned under the company's mental health% k" g$ ?* r6 o. T% a
> > policy. }" {2 a5 E7 E: H( F0 }
> >
" k a9 h3 k" L; }( d; k. A> > Lunch Break
3 ~8 I! J6 ?( q0 f) E> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
_8 S# U: t. ? S8 u- Q7 d> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.' p( b) a& M" _! {: p. u- ]
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to# a* Y# c! u5 o: H: j; t$ C
> > maintain their average figure.
5 }7 S. b6 k. T/ X> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time5 ] Y1 x; k: E( |) L6 @/ g
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
) o9 y7 E2 J( Q. y, {* G4 N> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
$ G" z7 O# \) }: ~. ?0 b- n# P> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive* q( y, K5 R" h+ X
> > employment experience.: \- H8 T- \4 `" s' g1 G
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
D7 C6 U0 ^+ C+ x8 t> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
. l n' c0 b" g! b* b* V W> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
2 D, [2 M, N( h7 D: a- [# t> > directed elsewhere. |
|
