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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:* H1 h- c& i3 J$ e- h+ \% F
> > Effective January 2007
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> > Dress Code
* v! Z/ T. [- a h# }" N3 w: O3 j> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed9 K) j- J7 [' c6 T
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing: `. p' A9 ?; N2 L9 _( h! i
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
& Z' Y A5 W. ]; h; o> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not+ [/ ]! f5 I* O }( L8 N
> > need a pay raise.. o* D) t( N% {0 ]1 l' b
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage M; u4 ^( B8 o
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
/ ~( N# a+ m8 e& ]- M4 L5 ^: @0 x> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
5 r8 r: l* `8 W% N5 |* @> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
- A6 u3 k6 `) }/ _# W* G* V> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay3 N4 r- S+ n: p ?5 B
> > raise.' [/ }7 [) M. e% D
> >
3 z- C, n6 v' ?$ I8 S. a> > Sick Days
2 H! G+ p5 _: K* U1 B> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
8 D2 o2 r; U2 }' l( K9 f> > proof of sickness.% l$ F J4 k# r6 S. E
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able/ x+ H; H& @* Z
> > to come to work.
; [: q' R+ c$ L! l6 T6 c4 e> >5 i" h( r7 _& \5 R" [7 X
> > Holiday Days
- M Q; c F' }. h> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
8 H1 W. X: D4 P- l* \6 q> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.* i1 X/ c# x8 g
> >
" N' m8 j- b! P> > Compassionate Leave
' ?: A# J+ i9 _/ l- I6 p* v& E( b8 m* i> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
; B# U8 N$ M9 E7 y5 S6 S> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
+ ~; u% i+ X& i9 C8 |* _# b> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-" d% l4 z9 ~, s
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
) a8 v" ~/ R: a" n6 [1 v/ ]% m/ ]# S& ~> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
2 L) G8 H. W1 K4 j# g> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
/ {7 V& s# B+ l1 [! a7 F> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
8 X$ n7 l# k0 {> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
8 d; ]5 g1 O5 [$ C1 F/ _' o1 A> > hour early.9 u0 j( S o$ f8 J$ a
> >% a3 e6 F& L+ o* r- v9 E# i. H
> > Toilet Use
$ u- A8 J! D- ]8 R6 \3 n, |4 o* B U> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the/ q# q! u/ Y+ p r, F
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit. V$ L ]; k1 F; h
> > in the cubicles.
. c* v( J' Y2 |1 b/ a$ U) p> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will. F5 r* }, m" `' r! n8 a( d" z1 M1 ^' z) a
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
8 ~, [5 S/ E5 l> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
" F/ X X, M( B i> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
9 G7 z6 O" ^" b% T/ q5 W$ a> > posted on the company notice board under the
$ ?( S0 i6 X- D+ N" j> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
6 h% i$ ^" [' G4 k8 c. w> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
* h* n9 b* c! Q0 l* t1 f> > sanctioned under the company's mental health" T0 _! Z" y5 R
> > policy.
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> > Lunch Break
/ ?! m4 O9 z. ^: x6 F> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
! n# }5 S8 p* q3 U4 U/ x2 R; O> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
T4 ^8 K7 \" u8 [3 ?% A! {" P> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to: ?. H v9 X W q$ M# x
> > maintain their average figure.6 q& d5 {% ^6 j$ o' H
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time! i0 `0 a& h! ?. H; p
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
1 b: o \( p! e% U4 R> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are. @- G' ~$ u6 k
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive, [: r9 A6 D Y
> > employment experience.+ b" `4 M8 d% m
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,) G5 l% Q+ f; W0 n/ i1 H
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,( _. a6 H: f3 {. |. g9 u+ x
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be$ ?+ X& d% e( N" ~4 p) M$ v
> > directed elsewhere. |
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