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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:9 W6 e0 z8 |% K/ V
> > Effective January 2007
2 h! r- k) ?; F8 O- U9 s> >
1 L, R4 q) }- ]0 a/ `3 o! S> > Dress Code0 o% }& H/ P- k* q$ ~: b0 K$ B
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed2 F; J- M9 a9 @
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing t7 _4 z' V# e& Z" d" w! P
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
' A% e8 z3 V" L' M. g> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
8 \! x; I1 D# E( g> > need a pay raise.
; N* w( K, e0 r- v> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage) R Y9 \: o) \2 F- w6 ]& z+ T
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer1 }. r5 U6 [/ q2 ^- R4 u
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.7 k/ F4 L2 x; f, O
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
9 _) L2 F. |3 M" C7 T> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay- k3 K1 h* S4 O, [
> > raise.3 j! n! D4 s# a
> >; q( l9 ]/ d |9 M" Y
> > Sick Days
4 Q+ h6 M6 `. j2 ~> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as( u( a# z7 N3 S4 L
> > proof of sickness.- z$ E' `# q H8 \) ]
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able- X- J) I6 @+ G' }: T( l( g& ~
> > to come to work.
. m8 ~4 Z0 T# X) q) F> >
: x0 e1 ^7 j" P1 e> > Holiday Days, y: ^6 e0 ?4 P# g, K @# G
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
: n1 b2 B, x* q" \> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
! }- ?( `$ L* t9 q! R> >% M+ S# r; Z8 D6 ]+ B
> > Compassionate Leave1 ^: m; Y+ j3 K2 j8 k0 e3 ~; i
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
) g* K( B2 ?. W> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
& h8 C {6 R$ y* Y> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-" ?, j- n/ X: ~* _5 u
> > employees attend to the arrangements.! z+ x/ T" m( N% @. }" X
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is+ n+ |6 p- Y0 |2 l% F* @
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the' X7 b1 I3 W: N% N
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
1 r3 z5 [/ G/ D7 y% A> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one5 v) {) w; B7 R s! u
> > hour early.- n2 \1 F# C) T/ T# C$ I
> >
1 u' C& a% `9 [; P$ v5 Y( m1 w> > Toilet Use% }& q) J9 H- F. { I; W; L) p
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
; q' v8 ?& r7 b6 C; N% z1 z0 C7 @> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit6 r% G" U. w2 y
> > in the cubicles. n- l' f, L" a1 u
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
. T+ z' w3 X) I) n> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle; t( K+ a+ z0 a2 H# o5 ^
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.: s2 A1 |( r. L) O9 K
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be5 h- {! Z1 p& f2 }/ f, J7 G6 L
> > posted on the company notice board under the: N) D6 k: w7 r8 g. l( F
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
. y. b$ k& O& Y7 H2 ?> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be- p) Z3 e5 h- U: S
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health% h2 k; V4 J9 m: U2 f# l3 S
> > policy.+ [7 T7 G5 p5 R& R
> >5 N3 v1 S- Z! b
> > Lunch Break
3 w1 J7 y2 |0 d, L> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
4 k( K$ a# A8 Q7 @; k/ o> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
9 ~2 m) x- G9 E x& q/ W; c1 ^> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to' w. ]1 M. t5 E7 F9 f
> > maintain their average figure.1 f4 `0 E/ W+ ^7 u2 v" j" ^
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time; ^: z$ ]7 z1 { R2 m( r6 Z
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
3 _+ q/ y' Y8 \> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are5 z- q5 m: j" ^! y" _7 v
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
# Z: S) ?" P; ^6 w> > employment experience.6 C+ ~ ?4 f _) I7 `8 {
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, C ?2 r; [8 w% ]
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
/ [9 ~8 B O2 H+ Q8 |> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be" _0 V" ?1 z9 z! o. X$ e% C/ p
> > directed elsewhere. |
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