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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:4 H9 f. t* D: N. y
> > Effective January 2007% n2 t5 W- w4 `8 [
> >3 F3 _0 ^: x, O/ v$ o3 r1 Y4 t
> > Dress Code4 D8 a, K- V4 ]
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
. [3 K4 ^8 h+ c( m ^) {# N3 d! I> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
3 c# U; h8 V2 G" ^> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume6 w; t$ N. B4 G4 e
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not4 p8 V; _& k( K" J7 h
> > need a pay raise.5 J/ m. L. k6 U
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage/ r, [( e+ C S, y7 P- O! w
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
+ Z( R( _8 |1 [> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
( \1 n6 ^7 C2 Z* V- O> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
: O( i4 j7 `0 w' X: ~8 q. L> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay4 x2 o) u* k& V; g% D
> > raise.
, I4 Y2 f' I- [- _. s4 Z> >5 {6 U6 Z3 r9 [) j) T7 j
> > Sick Days6 B5 C" p+ \3 x$ L/ F
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
; c8 l/ n7 O, g! i9 c> > proof of sickness.
) Z k" r. A+ Q$ L0 ?- K> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able# i$ p7 a0 p) [: R2 O2 F; y
> > to come to work.
$ o+ t6 B3 A2 }6 d0 {5 S7 _> >
/ M/ A0 a$ t! O$ Y> > Holiday Days' M" l1 j0 E% R
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a6 d# v3 @" g3 c
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.. k4 T# N1 E! e
> >
/ D2 i1 D- x- d* T0 B> > Compassionate Leave
7 a& }5 u/ i e# f. x/ L> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
M5 ^8 U7 M1 p9 |: l0 C> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
3 R2 X% O6 b& ]3 _+ ~: Y> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-% b- A( I( `. E1 W7 f, i! M% Y
> > employees attend to the arrangements.) n* s# D, |8 H7 v( y9 W) g
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is `/ C. A: {, o3 l0 H9 z; t, Q2 R
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the# l. U1 |, W7 q0 k( f* \
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
$ y# _; u. ?- B! q> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one! L9 _/ J8 H1 S" A x% d
> > hour early.8 c3 r+ O' R% ~2 {. j8 L5 h9 z
> >
{' s8 \; E" G! N$ R4 O4 F> > Toilet Use
7 ]2 t" B& p, L8 L, ~> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the& [/ u7 \' d9 h- G: a
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' O, A8 L1 o8 s4 E$ ], W1 d3 ~) ~> > in the cubicles.
0 z3 O/ {0 Q8 J# l! W( M> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
: O2 Q0 D4 B# ]& z- r> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle. o7 [8 `% X% ~: f# ^1 K) Q
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.; `% o7 D0 v3 q; u) D J2 i3 i" | ?
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be; B- P, s' O" G7 E! d
> > posted on the company notice board under the# `2 S6 H' i' E/ B# C/ @8 o+ e
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
1 F6 U. c! c+ J4 d' s& p' N6 p) I> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
, j7 r7 ~ w+ ~% x1 E9 R# b9 H> > sanctioned under the company's mental health2 _) L. @ g' w" {8 f
> > policy.
/ q3 ^) r' M; q> >
8 I7 g" v( l x5 Z> > Lunch Break# u, e- n/ \1 c3 {
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
% M! @8 m/ d3 ?: L* p! F A> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.9 V l7 n$ D) ^' ]
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
9 `# t& `! f+ o: e> > maintain their average figure.! G. r5 T% o) S# B
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time" ` S* S: ~0 K. f
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
7 l/ w/ g1 _7 {> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are+ x. a" @! |0 H" h) ?! N
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
& A; x9 Q; I c> > employment experience.' X1 J$ \2 t' {! B: J
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,$ a) X9 U2 K9 j
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, _+ @5 o- e7 H8 b
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be+ ?' s. {: [) D5 D% ~" v4 @( R. x
> > directed elsewhere. |
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