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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
. R: r2 p0 `) z/ z> > Effective January 20079 T# T8 q& ~3 ?: u$ Q
> >4 B4 M1 y/ j: @) G, ~$ X: u5 l
> > Dress Code
! L$ L7 T C- m8 \1 V# w> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed8 x3 M! Z0 A: {- _3 F
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing4 v; C) V2 C" w" [* R
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
# d9 j8 v! J/ t# U> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not8 t5 t" ]& x- p6 |
> > need a pay raise.
/ M% f( M4 r5 ]2 M> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
' y1 ~. }$ `$ p> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer2 i$ @ l! ^) f: K8 {
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.& N, W4 Q+ M& H3 K8 L
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
7 q) S5 K: R1 g- o3 w> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay! t$ a/ {! \# c7 ~
> > raise.$ `0 {% r$ P$ U7 k
> >
5 ?" l! s( n- L' X1 z: r> > Sick Days
1 g% r/ O. D- E& q2 b& k- |> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as e) {" p# a1 D; T' j5 c o
> > proof of sickness.
4 p& ~4 b% J4 I2 |& \9 O> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
; F0 P! p/ Z1 d6 Q1 D) k/ ?7 {: o> > to come to work.
& p: A) e( Y3 l5 R> >
- U- y2 S8 d1 p/ w: E> > Holiday Days
' \& N- F }3 y& c; x& f! x+ _> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a$ I+ C( k! i1 u- A
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday." G) H9 h9 Z w0 L+ s5 b
> >6 }9 b, Y6 d& T, o; }2 g6 `
> > Compassionate Leave
# K0 { s$ w5 ^0 ?3 \- C3 |8 e' Z% T- |> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
+ t, }* R: T- o0 u> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-- H6 V0 P1 C" y
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-9 Z$ ]" U5 I* [, r( s+ g( ]- U; b
> > employees attend to the arrangements.% y7 R% E; J; M3 s
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
9 t3 E0 w* A& E( m! h' R> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the/ ^- F4 r3 F; L+ [5 \) E
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
( `) ~* ]! h3 n9 m* F1 q. s> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
/ K: K" o4 K m* B! P j> > hour early.
3 ]" l, X- f( W8 a$ h> >
( y3 T! s1 F/ V; v> > Toilet Use
! P& u9 g! W0 M9 Z% d+ y& S9 ?0 h> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
, g9 o; S* T9 U- V$ ~0 l$ z5 M& P# n> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
% d' ? q% @; W' t# ?/ X' l> > in the cubicles.
8 H. @$ C9 R4 W; J9 {> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will: G2 F) r' X4 O/ i- B1 m
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle" n5 d, m( i- @- K1 }- p: t
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.9 I1 a1 U; _) J# n
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be+ ]2 I1 t0 B' ]2 ~5 J8 P% ~
> > posted on the company notice board under the
' `! u0 }; l. V/ H* ]8 x4 ~> > "Chronic Offenders" category.+ R: a; o, `/ C5 M
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be& j( W9 M8 r( p- f |
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health3 s2 I8 ^% V$ Q1 N8 b( l5 A) D. W
> > policy.
- z5 C% f0 t9 _, S5 q/ A: k> >% P% {9 j; J8 u. O; N# b( M
> > Lunch Break
+ d8 y' R! U/ ]9 h+ m> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
' W' J/ H- P' x3 e> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
: U+ X! Z+ N, {( ]: B7 u' }) I> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to/ E7 e+ ^- j% w t2 x/ q" F- _& z
> > maintain their average figure.
+ \1 ^- H8 ^* V1 B( g. i: \> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
( W& ^+ j d; _3 L6 i: q; B> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.& Y+ M/ T' N) `! R, ]* ?9 Z
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
# }% ` E* {4 b9 E& R( o' q> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
0 J! d4 L$ \ o& Q6 N> > employment experience.6 @- P6 v+ ^. Y. C2 ]/ x6 [
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,9 S; e! N/ E9 h, d! R }
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
8 X! i* v/ F7 N> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be8 P2 h3 s E4 Z! u( D. Y
> > directed elsewhere. |
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