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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:) M1 W- n: y6 g. S
> > Effective January 2007 s U$ c9 T/ Q( u6 r W
> >
; S; m& p$ P: A) V' r> > Dress Code1 Q8 j% }/ c* M3 P+ l
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed8 t6 t9 K1 t ^
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
0 j; ?% ?. k* d. S> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume6 x3 h; n- A0 a
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
1 C. @( ~3 j0 z6 A/ ]" Z9 a) l2 r> > need a pay raise.
) \" V1 h. S' ~7 V9 s9 W1 x: T> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage( ^ p& S1 }& P; g% L: _( V
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
" v( I* |/ h) k/ f> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.- N1 J1 D4 @9 V* U) P, }# v& z
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you6 h! {0 ~+ ^! j/ M) S
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay2 S$ O( L8 @4 O
> > raise.8 d7 x- C9 a, v
> >
2 e6 L, e8 o& f! m2 a( m9 |> > Sick Days
! \& W: c w; W, Q2 {/ H( E> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as$ t/ e z' y7 ~: f2 J# Y
> > proof of sickness.
" m1 b* S+ i3 o> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
0 }$ T+ A& B6 b( ?0 [) ?: U9 @( t> > to come to work.( D! R# a) B9 O# }* w6 \% @
> >( j" M9 D v2 \+ M/ ^3 R1 f% g3 [" x* l
> > Holiday Days' @) f4 }4 v. p6 A9 |; H
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a: w0 d2 C/ x+ [0 w- o# e- I
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.3 I/ d9 v( q, N- u7 ?
> >
+ {! W5 e$ J3 n$ v( ?* c> > Compassionate Leave3 z l1 u5 i0 g* o1 T2 t6 v
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
2 P; K, x0 `. z. s! u> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-) h2 J2 o) O% y0 i
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-3 F8 R8 F, O0 ?& U7 O
> > employees attend to the arrangements.6 ^$ m0 A/ ] ^$ V
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is3 A! N3 K2 I2 Q9 Q: j
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
, Q/ \/ \* L$ d: v8 K% u- G> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
. S0 X+ V6 F4 S, X' [( a> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
/ g; C/ |( A% F1 D> > hour early.+ S- z: w7 p; Y: `
> >
1 @) H# S2 f) R# r; z9 N( u) i: l> > Toilet Use; C8 c# g2 x' \" K# z( b3 w
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the! {; G0 X) d+ r+ x( Y; q
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit. H4 o7 I: o& V& g2 h+ p. i
> > in the cubicles.: R% p9 L9 f) T, O; a
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will8 v. p5 Z. S) G8 E
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle2 `1 L0 F( N% A5 F
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.0 E5 @& S: V8 u$ [( t4 W6 d% K1 v- K
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
( J* E3 q( Z8 x: X* I> > posted on the company notice board under the- w+ V6 o& ^8 ?1 }
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.) V# X$ @* c: d. Y" o( G$ P( G; J
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be6 G5 h5 O1 p+ j0 Q, y6 I
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health U% x) h3 N u4 j. }
> > policy.
3 w4 Q& H- r+ L% t$ F \' Z% C0 p> >
: }1 K A- E3 u* a4 r: L1 S> > Lunch Break3 E ]: u. R8 W. U; M6 t
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they, g2 Y/ |6 i# u9 X* m- a
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.- m+ m7 i' S p; Q
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to7 w+ |8 c, l b6 c N9 s+ C
> > maintain their average figure.* ?7 a, L/ m; E7 A- @
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
) k: c; n/ o( [ v' W> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
; T& d: I9 n/ b& r }% c; J, J> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
% t. E+ e( a! f> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
% ?+ |; A& ^2 Q3 s0 H3 m: P> > employment experience.
2 G- X( ?4 B( I, p% F3 \% }; K' G> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
+ Q |( p* _+ X5 U, h0 S> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,* S8 f/ N5 U- U: P1 A6 h! C6 e) l
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
0 `/ M9 ]7 H" M/ Q4 [3 P+ }> > directed elsewhere. |
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