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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:; U6 L. l: S# g3 q7 g7 Q
> > Effective January 20071 ~! z0 ]* |: Z% ~# W: k
> >1 {' _: t- V; X6 c# c- j3 ], Y0 ]6 u' F
> > Dress Code
9 P4 z( r( j( T/ H$ T! H> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed9 W% @" \) i8 M
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing4 F* ]+ ~2 T3 e9 S n
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
2 F6 H- w( A$ _ P! Y+ i' Z> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not# J. h% I7 |4 Q( N: { X' A
> > need a pay raise.+ `8 Y4 j" ?+ F
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
# X8 H2 T% L$ I> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer: }% u3 }1 R" b+ C+ o4 C! k9 ~
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
]2 K6 m5 k( z r1 z; I. v$ P a1 a4 z> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
* b& k# X7 }2 o! l4 K: T> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
/ m+ j Z1 L. W3 f> > raise.( R! ?- [+ R4 j% @$ _6 W
> >- i) O3 N' z, f8 S+ a, q& S; l
> > Sick Days
; h' f1 M' J, _. E+ |> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as1 \0 J+ K& M: A' F; z. \
> > proof of sickness.
$ X: k! v0 c3 X6 r> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able4 J; v4 n% u, @. z: Z# T
> > to come to work.
; T& ~6 }3 b* c> >( `0 X4 j( p( S+ [; e, |
> > Holiday Days' b9 g' h" Q: a7 J2 a# [
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a3 V" w5 G$ }5 l5 D0 x; m0 K
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
' s' b* x6 n; [( d> >
^9 i% W5 s/ g$ x9 H, G% e5 O> > Compassionate Leave
" W1 f; B, }' I( \2 x/ F$ ?> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing- W7 A8 L+ Q" i! q; S, a. l9 ?
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
1 Z. j. K0 l7 w+ S3 ^8 O> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
' L( D3 M! W( b$ ~% _> > employees attend to the arrangements.
& i6 D. I6 Y6 [5 p y% V* K2 q> > In rare cases where employee involvement is# J' `2 ]& X( h6 J" `
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
0 ~2 f2 Q6 y H$ B( k> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work/ m! Y0 v4 W9 N
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one" I' p4 A* w5 d; J; k! O1 e" N2 Q
> > hour early.
A* K& F2 d% b1 y> >
. G- t, o! S" i& r1 @. A" \' V0 Y8 Y> > Toilet Use3 ?6 n% _) S- @$ ~/ P! k" w
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the- n) W* x6 h. x0 f
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit; [8 t: U3 w" j r3 o
> > in the cubicles.
( _; @4 {9 B/ H: C> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will4 z" a, l8 }* T6 l
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle$ [: O/ k* T" W# P
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.0 v' n( U" n! V' T# e% f1 z
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
: q8 |9 S, F" S: d> > posted on the company notice board under the) ~6 M+ Q- C6 J8 Y$ g0 T! ~' G- u
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.8 }* ]- ?# Y( z& o6 O2 a; [
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
% ^/ _5 F* _" Z# {> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
" k% @- F H T) n> > policy.
: u: c0 Z, L' r> >
7 z# K% }: n- ^' a: ^2 C> > Lunch Break [/ L7 R h! C# T
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
- \( ^2 N3 Y+ A _7 M- J# h% y# X" I> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.- q0 h8 M B" j+ ?4 ~* v9 A4 E8 j
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to- B) V# l$ {1 e' @+ e
> > maintain their average figure.
% T1 e$ S: e# L! P9 `' n> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time: ?* d X% e" x: w0 _: c
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.5 u' x( }3 g6 y6 N
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
8 x1 ^) r6 [: c# @> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
" i8 x' @2 [! A. k2 s# d> > employment experience.. A: @5 l) G2 v& q7 ?
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,; @) J1 P& ]7 c% }( b8 t P. c+ F
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,1 l+ r; M1 x8 `# M8 G/ l" c
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
# w/ f9 F+ [- P, H- E" @* G9 y> > directed elsewhere. |
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