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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:, A5 `9 F: v, Y
> > Effective January 20078 X. s2 L: O# d' ?( h1 J. L
> >" J U) r6 W4 B( N
> > Dress Code, o3 P7 B7 V& v+ E0 ^
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed# F2 V, Z( {9 i$ z3 C, u
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
/ i+ i; f* K1 z> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
) z1 R. |" c$ a- q! f> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not9 V4 n; B# i6 G% j" g7 j" H( T# K/ d
> > need a pay raise.% F4 V* B8 N' }9 f& U& f K
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
- y+ c$ |0 V% ~! Y9 @7 U$ J. O/ [ c> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer6 ~' _% O5 m" ~
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.3 F% Z( \! T' O' B* t; S
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
! C) X {# V2 p, H7 E) B( ?2 k# o> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
$ c6 N6 A+ k) y# J$ Q0 Y! d> > raise.
, I3 k( L. _0 |> >
X$ L8 j( J. U- O e3 I% c( Q9 x> > Sick Days$ Q3 d- {5 k. Z" l
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as d! R: L0 ~. V* ? M
> > proof of sickness.
6 s$ ]% u4 _6 S> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able1 }; r6 g0 P/ b1 Y% b, i
> > to come to work.$ n {2 y2 o' J' p7 R" q/ K8 S
> >' j! l( t3 `1 B6 S3 p T/ d
> > Holiday Days
: {4 S3 F1 s; K/ a: P! ]2 w: c1 |> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a0 X: I' h5 J ~ q& N- j( ?- N# {
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday./ S) E$ v! F. T) N2 C' y
> >
5 |4 A) ]2 A z. ~* }> > Compassionate Leave
) ], C$ q- @7 z' u, f2 v- Z- J> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
; i* T. m0 y9 V1 R> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
5 {0 K$ X) [/ K8 W, m> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
}$ n* i% U* _/ Y> > employees attend to the arrangements.
7 H! N, N" @" c> > In rare cases where employee involvement is P: _& R. i7 x5 J2 {+ A/ x
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
# x* l/ M( ]+ i1 a> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work' ~4 }" p9 G) {* w' b; r
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one+ b" ~* l/ R5 R5 B
> > hour early.8 n7 V9 r# B- l7 X; s9 s9 B
> >" S4 k2 L0 p8 i5 ~! W% U
> > Toilet Use
7 ?1 X. A3 |/ M( q; S w+ W> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
9 Y. b. [7 t" E* n& K( F> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit2 ~+ A- p4 I( r
> > in the cubicles.7 @# p" |, m( j" t2 f
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will! j1 C# a( Y, O6 x; q& Z' j
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle: N. ^" g, w x
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.& D* |! [! @+ J8 P3 U
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be2 q) _1 U2 m+ V5 w. m% z
> > posted on the company notice board under the! H2 f; i' U: y8 q3 q. O% o# S
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
) Y) E& t& c4 v" G. V) ]> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be" U2 C8 J1 f! ^$ L
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
2 r, r. K2 N' A3 C- g> > policy.
$ T( }4 ?' d& ? ]; R7 S3 V* ]; m> >; B5 j I5 b# ]: q$ ^
> > Lunch Break
3 s8 R9 V) x% M% ]> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they# o+ z }7 N/ e3 T. g
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy., {+ m U) |, F/ u) G1 X
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to% L- q% a' i) W# K$ r8 ?
> > maintain their average figure.
; I5 z' I5 n( H5 E8 r> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
) b+ w3 r a/ g4 t* R- X$ Q> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.: V! {! V) a1 W9 B( G3 s7 q
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
+ n% e8 s( ~* L8 t> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive, J" M8 L$ U; X2 G% E6 q
> > employment experience.( f4 q6 ^, Y4 e4 z J& k! ?; ]3 n: V
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,3 e1 v+ N# i3 V
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,+ q$ B8 X* f( ]( M3 |4 j
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be5 S; W& Z) R' R. z. q7 Z
> > directed elsewhere. |
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