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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
S3 T9 \7 \& ^: g4 \, ^5 h5 u> > Effective January 20075 [/ Y% x: c. z! p: `6 x
> >9 S0 ~! E3 H1 |3 l+ ~: E: n7 h: t4 W
> > Dress Code
8 K4 T: F2 w0 U> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed" U2 n9 F$ a. d' D& z! ]4 @7 V
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
: G0 b2 {* k8 l X8 s; v1 j7 a; R> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume: E. W# j3 G1 F7 }/ d/ P( r
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not* A& r+ m8 c- }5 V9 }0 j4 P
> > need a pay raise.
8 s% R: V1 R1 U) X> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
4 @7 K `" K* k# x5 u$ }1 f> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer+ V- e1 t1 x, f. S' P
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.3 l1 [3 _2 w( W/ Q
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you. w2 r3 J9 i1 r2 o3 L) K3 L
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay$ `7 R( M0 n- o3 l+ f$ P3 W
> > raise.
/ v" ~- x: N9 }# k- A# s> >: p: t* z! R3 J1 G' w" n
> > Sick Days7 Q( y$ \5 s# e) A7 d+ w
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
' Z( D2 H$ q% c' l> > proof of sickness.
& V5 S1 h) N. C# _4 G# T# n* C. N> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
) |' O1 f0 n' n, ~ g> > to come to work.
! q6 y+ z& r! c& L! F3 m0 }3 e> > B! P P4 H+ q
> > Holiday Days
* F h* t% Z( j# l> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
$ E* h2 D0 O. L3 M2 H> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.0 ?" n3 ?* R$ N) `* N
> >
, k; a2 g2 W4 S: {) j. f0 \2 Q> > Compassionate Leave
/ k$ y5 N* v3 e> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
0 v4 Z% m7 n) `3 d( m1 C> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-) d# {8 o# K* u5 E" l) N/ {
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
7 C9 T( x9 C4 z; x- P! e3 Z> > employees attend to the arrangements.$ w# K! u# ^* p3 @
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
! S# Z4 y# n' q( A" v> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the! L2 F. ?6 x4 C( b: l1 c
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
$ `. J6 A" W0 o( x> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one' V; k' Q2 n9 R+ I) } x% b+ h1 v
> > hour early.
9 N/ F# E) m- v# n( {6 Z> >
; f% C w3 Q- s( Y> > Toilet Use
1 f5 V Y8 H9 B3 b3 `3 M3 _6 z> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
: z. C+ G+ E4 N/ Y. T> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
5 V( u! Q) p1 ^0 H: I- J> > in the cubicles." G: E* } X% x9 M
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will& D0 n# n. ?+ Q/ @
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle2 n' I& B0 W! X" A
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
9 }8 \+ P! Q$ x8 y> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
/ h+ J% P. Y0 A& f> > posted on the company notice board under the: e! p, b- U8 q/ R
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.( z0 h; N6 k2 B' t
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be- B- W2 y S$ {2 J) x/ w+ X$ T
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health% S7 ~. T& T5 X8 \1 T. _' B
> > policy." E+ n; L* l3 U* G+ w
> >; R! s- \5 i ?% }2 R
> > Lunch Break
- t2 r: i" d5 {: `> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
, ?/ {9 n) b8 A. s> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
9 B3 g$ }3 R! J> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to# ]" Y% k) f+ L6 `' [/ r
> > maintain their average figure.) ]7 Z: r! @# A
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time: e+ m+ ~* D! ?: K M, D" S# c
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.0 y. J& c' q* R( {9 a3 s
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are0 D9 w7 g! w6 j
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive" H( @/ A+ E% W; k4 ^; o: O: M
> > employment experience.
$ d$ [. [; D* o$ D S- X> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
1 e$ Q( m$ Q6 I> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
- S* r6 a& L% X7 ]7 x& a9 Y> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
( G8 b# t8 q: l6 D> > directed elsewhere. |
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