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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:
) c1 Q# `2 C4 b7 x> > Effective January 2007
: Q6 e* t9 B2 d7 @9 Z> >0 }7 o/ R5 w- ]# l% x' ^8 h
> > Dress Code
5 g5 R8 O3 e' b4 H4 T! R3 K> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed; _# [, |6 L8 g; G/ C9 I5 R
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing8 x0 ]5 z4 h. I; o5 O
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume: u8 k/ d- i: d$ X% p
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not" ~5 B) A. M9 P5 ~7 Y
> > need a pay raise.9 I8 N$ o1 F8 z5 n0 M
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
% M- \: u+ s. ?8 o" q> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
) f; f8 \* K9 H4 U! X9 |" T> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.3 `3 u$ d; _% d
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you* m6 p" k% w3 c
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay/ ~' D$ o; _9 I7 e5 w* v
> > raise.* T7 `" V5 s* o' R# k8 R* o" n/ Q
> >
& n o/ }& i0 D% s0 V' j> > Sick Days
1 y5 T2 e& [/ M; L! C V- ^8 ^0 V> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as# P9 c9 ^! m% I/ T; C) J
> > proof of sickness.
. L, }2 ^; c/ l> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
2 b! N- r* s1 @> > to come to work.; R' ~ C# ?8 B* l, ?
> >
# N( n1 J) }7 }, P. y> > Holiday Days
7 ~: d* J4 T+ I$ y- l& w8 |! Z> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a& n3 `' j0 d, ~2 w6 e. @; D
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.& A7 q# O/ P) K! a8 k) g
> >1 j r- Q, @2 y; {6 V1 l, Q/ Y, S% ~
> > Compassionate Leave
- ?3 }7 f1 [/ o" o7 P- b> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing% D$ d8 y8 k: o' ~
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
7 J4 O @" v7 k5 e/ o> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-4 D( h& T; o/ M
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
* c2 y/ }2 @0 x ^; B> > In rare cases where employee involvement is3 Y W1 d7 A* W
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the1 a8 {$ X0 q$ a+ h
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work+ a0 |7 K6 i& ?& J
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one% L; u# T; L) C9 _- N8 q
> > hour early.$ H( c( G: X8 H: z) G n
> >
/ @3 |# J4 m1 }> > Toilet Use
" S2 j# S! f% g$ ]> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the# F$ ]8 k4 b+ q
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit( v+ J" X1 r; s9 |+ p
> > in the cubicles.1 P$ t5 s+ T; r- n
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
5 L) k- ^9 s) G1 W- a> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
, r1 J$ T8 j* J+ F% }1 X% g9 W$ w7 E> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.7 I3 @: o$ F2 Y) j
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
: n6 Q& E( O4 ~4 z> > posted on the company notice board under the7 ]. k% d. I) K1 q6 r& J6 H
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.& w, h+ h2 v% r8 d% ^7 F
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
! V7 y3 f/ G" c: [" C' B, a. o> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
9 v. ]2 ?4 g# j7 g* X> > policy.& w3 U! ~* `: p4 ~. V3 N# n
> > h2 c" |5 H1 p) t+ u/ H% j
> > Lunch Break
: |1 \2 F3 n' U. ]5 r> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they9 H% U/ A) a* `) M
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.) d! X# J/ u; k8 N! v" Z
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to. ?4 c' X; {! o O( Y. D. J7 y3 K. N
> > maintain their average figure.
5 E( _4 B* ^3 S% h3 `( a> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time9 ~& _) |$ b3 r8 r( y
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.- U# @2 g1 Q* s- x+ L* G
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
1 h# M. d2 Y# K9 y( [0 Q> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive+ E4 f% F. [6 v3 V2 f8 N
> > employment experience.$ h" Q+ Y( B, }( ?" O
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,5 Q3 A' g: Q. t Q+ U% C0 _2 H) G
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
. q' h) h* g' E% u( q5 D> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be0 L& l1 ]6 O% c' E2 G
> > directed elsewhere. |
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