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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:8 D/ a2 A+ @' w" |9 h1 ]
> > Effective January 2007& J% k( L$ S5 K9 X- g. Q5 I
> >( Y6 G& b0 V8 X: R& ]/ ^
> > Dress Code& s* p( P; r0 I$ p, q5 ^0 {
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed& _: u) C9 E* I$ W7 c
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing2 d0 P$ t% G: }# B0 v" x0 B& \
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume3 ~* F9 {. q5 o4 C6 c
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not3 b& X1 N; i$ f K" `9 g
> > need a pay raise.& Q1 @" `7 ? x- F& I/ l
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage1 N" p& o3 W9 x# R6 m5 `" l
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer; S4 h3 \. m9 m- V$ \' l$ C
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.3 i3 p" K! T; Q8 n: F# a
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
7 ?7 w' d; B7 ~: n> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay, B; n. d. O) ^! Y: H, ~
> > raise.
0 O7 {5 n# s I% v7 [/ \8 {6 R5 \) o> >) B4 y" m q) h" F6 M* T& I
> > Sick Days- Q8 v0 A% A! m9 u4 x2 p
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
( r8 l8 `+ l0 ~3 f4 g& `> > proof of sickness., m7 m2 m2 A7 ?, [" g
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able6 P s5 Z* d" \8 q$ Y4 Q
> > to come to work.6 r, M F& o; q3 ~
> >- z$ `- W: P" _# |5 B( t
> > Holiday Days
& @/ I6 p6 M( H; c& T* y> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a2 O7 [& t" H/ h8 x8 A( [) v, S
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday., I, v- o3 z E& Y* y8 Y- I
> >
% v1 c0 [8 s3 w" d> > Compassionate Leave& F# v8 U2 I3 o4 {* u
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
' T8 y% Y/ M9 @& V> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-; A, X; S" @; m4 z" O' f
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
# m" i% h/ Q4 O! C* u> > employees attend to the arrangements.$ R8 \* P$ e6 s* A$ f. q$ [2 t* O
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is: I# M% S% m& l+ A2 l- f
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
6 |! Z4 v2 I, u" _+ m> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work: H" ^& b" w& Q( g' l, L
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
2 u0 C, t$ d1 v> > hour early.
6 d! `: q( q% N; o( p' H> >* h% _7 p( O+ {1 {$ U1 l
> > Toilet Use
4 y6 ?# O! }, p L> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the2 X0 {1 u2 q) j4 R: ^
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
[; f( _! N* I6 S2 u2 Z+ S> > in the cubicles.
$ u3 O! T9 M# S# l$ N> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will! K* w, n& V2 C8 c. c
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle5 ^, o) W# h/ T
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
. u! Y$ }% j1 Q+ V9 X1 g> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be# X8 d3 Y6 g$ W' z4 W6 `
> > posted on the company notice board under the
3 [( u: P O% x" ]% F7 q7 ]' x> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
3 @/ W+ P! {5 x: U- p" g> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
( K+ c0 ?0 j6 `% N1 A> > sanctioned under the company's mental health/ t' B: U2 _+ X
> > policy.0 C c% J' K/ o0 d, r
> >) B2 V' v. U" D4 z8 e* h- [5 P' N( x
> > Lunch Break& G; H& x7 g5 n
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
$ z/ p2 [1 O; R8 o2 ^8 ]> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.0 U8 O: \. _ v0 x
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
7 J. p' D' S( x* `% O" d6 @> > maintain their average figure.
7 J+ }8 X3 l0 p( `( G- H+ m' Y> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
5 ~! |, C; P* M i2 K/ m& s> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.* I1 t: Z; Z( N- D7 w
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are3 r: z" P0 v- \5 b5 [6 S( B
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive5 X- K2 Z$ e( ^' @ ^" o
> > employment experience.
_' C4 e I' R P1 H! Y> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,5 n: e ]6 f' w. A. m, Z6 c
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,* K: ] j4 S/ E& A
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be% K/ Y0 X% q" w6 X) J, X3 L
> > directed elsewhere. |
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