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發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:$ X/ f! r# Y9 O o$ N" Y& s1 {
> > Effective January 2007
# E3 Y1 }) Z! c. x% k" e> >
0 ]( w, e5 o& B; ?* t5 D9 \) K2 d> > Dress Code9 l3 W/ }# C( Z5 f- d+ E5 L" t* ]
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed6 v% W \; @8 p1 P/ X
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing7 Q/ N1 A/ P. }0 a2 v; W3 E/ X R
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
0 x/ O* s6 ?! [% e; b; A# j7 n> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not3 Y' o1 _: I% x
> > need a pay raise." t; s4 b0 Z1 j$ [# ^$ I
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage. Z* I! L' }% x2 K+ ^! Y6 Z( {* m
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer
/ d* A- v7 p8 w, a9 G# V( s% X> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.9 c1 k% ~6 |2 k8 x( i
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
& ^3 J- `( p! Z0 s2 H i6 ~4 L, O> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
. K6 B0 P' w1 [+ s) W> > raise.
; X' k; d ` d1 F9 t+ \# d. j> >8 Y! x2 q" K. S3 i
> > Sick Days5 d5 p9 a; H" u) i7 V: ]) p. S
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
0 K3 O K2 v8 b: \; K0 }4 M> > proof of sickness.9 ` @8 D3 Y, S; `7 B6 c8 V2 R
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
* ^% O P$ z9 M> > to come to work.
/ V/ ^2 l7 Y6 ~& j' p3 q+ O> >
, @' p- p3 O) l8 \& k> > Holiday Days
) J1 M& k* r' g5 \& J. M1 r( V, I& I> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a
4 y9 P3 O9 c8 x1 F: m, i7 B+ b> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
- a+ A+ ]4 ]& r$ i0 x; |# k> >
! r6 [$ H, M; S, `$ F3 j> > Compassionate Leave
" n4 {* K+ K u> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
6 A5 B7 k7 \5 w> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-1 {. O# e8 [( E% h0 ~- W2 N- c
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
" x8 Q5 U4 j. ~- m& U( L% G> > employees attend to the arrangements.
2 } @/ m; \, w1 n% Y! o> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
* }* P; d+ G0 F" T7 y6 C/ g t> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the7 S/ h5 P% A0 Z+ Z
> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
7 F' [3 T" T6 S& `! @" K+ [- ~> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one0 N; V1 i- U1 x* d
> > hour early.- o+ m; m, Z& E+ e J, K/ p$ J; Q
> >' f* t* e _0 w5 A9 T. t
> > Toilet Use% B9 A+ P8 y) U" T
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
$ K3 Q8 `+ q4 K) i: X! U> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' X H' N5 {7 L7 m+ X" ]4 m: T> > in the cubicles.. D7 ?- p7 p' |7 H; M7 n
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will( v/ A) n: D! F2 E& T
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
& Y4 p, Q; L* X {# s2 k> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.* {. y9 C7 _# k# J0 |! C
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
: A0 A: R- O, f6 m> > posted on the company notice board under the
, V: r) g' U2 \: O; L> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
. F. R) o9 u" q$ R" `> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be% G" r* {! D. }# Q* ~* U; v
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health; z& ~/ C1 `8 {0 V
> > policy.
2 W; }2 H$ _. W; a5 E7 v/ v. P# V N> >
1 k; R% H( ~, b2 ~1 G> > Lunch Break+ c* A/ G' Y E5 K L1 ^! p% B% H: Y
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
$ Z' t3 j' c" g) D> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy., o9 z1 Z. b& ~2 V
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
$ G% m0 R& N7 t$ c7 g> > maintain their average figure.
/ }! c! P" _/ I+ X> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
' J2 E; E: u$ I$ m' J, n> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.8 B& G0 [, R: L! u% e. `1 Q2 y
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are
$ W! @ X& m; m* N4 ]4 `, O> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive4 ^$ C# W! A+ a% K! d
> > employment experience.
" `5 k/ Q6 b/ g; ]) _ }$ C$ E' K> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,
7 _2 O7 T$ M' Q: Y g- Q0 u$ {> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,' [; z1 N7 n. F" n7 r9 {5 N( z
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be1 Q% v9 W" l( D& e! p, v+ V+ ?/ t
> > directed elsewhere. |
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