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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:- P) o9 S/ s- H0 l8 r
> > Effective January 2007
! m$ a% @7 L1 F; x> >3 X* y0 ~/ A/ W1 M+ i- }6 s f+ w
> > Dress Code% J! x& X! ]/ i; o- f1 s `
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
, R D) {! ~( ~' V, B> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing' Z* v+ P2 D( X7 ]2 k
> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume
/ |+ X4 o& G5 [6 u# F. i> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not
" e ]5 t6 G Q> > need a pay raise.
* ^6 c0 K; u9 E& a> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage, P I& p5 ~( u( d1 D# I
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer m- k+ P$ ?* R# Q# o" e4 X
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
2 V$ A$ V8 k, ~% k' J! f1 F% u' c6 F m> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you. b3 O3 K5 R6 D$ K, c( V3 G7 v% E
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
2 v8 Z3 {1 r$ E3 g# t> > raise.! ^% u F( p/ p1 ~8 l. G
> >
8 w% d0 `& z( X1 P3 x H* y, y- {> > Sick Days
( {/ Q3 _0 A& w" w9 P4 T1 a> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
! V6 H1 v9 y+ x' J8 W- P; c> > proof of sickness.
) c" H' z' W0 M> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
3 j) o: I. e1 ~9 a- f> > to come to work.
! n( }# x! A7 n. v! c> >
k8 u8 }6 K4 ^- X> > Holiday Days
9 P/ F Z/ a6 ]- [* \- d> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a8 p* [5 g: R+ r
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
c7 }$ Y- y. |> ># |0 F& O2 p. b4 Z2 f d
> > Compassionate Leave! D' ]& F! X: \' f6 S
> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing) g/ Q0 S- z/ b4 B0 v9 u
> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-$ L* X9 g7 A; @+ t& d' _4 Z9 F* t* L
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
9 t$ K7 ~* [( h! e$ b: v6 ~> > employees attend to the arrangements.
% i2 ?2 ~# ^2 `> > In rare cases where employee involvement is% `' P- f7 |8 C/ @$ B; y
> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
# T, |( t1 i5 o" |> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work% n1 P: H& r2 g n
> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
6 Q4 Z7 M# i0 n> > hour early.
/ C& j# k, Y z) V8 X3 y5 h' L> >
. q1 `4 _9 `5 [> > Toilet Use
i# T0 T: c- _& ^> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
; a# v5 e9 d0 H0 u( G> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit0 m' c. {1 m& ^* q" [
> > in the cubicles.
* W* U, l; j. E- y' G0 o1 ?: h, J> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
" G. j% T/ d" m' B: x: i> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle
* g3 z6 b' e; A& r1 k$ }) t> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.# Z- c3 b8 u4 \8 j' _0 o
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be# @3 [( o" [1 u) t' {
> > posted on the company notice board under the
/ ] J4 P; |4 s> > "Chronic Offenders" category.
8 D& E- d, h: \) }1 n3 g> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be9 b9 t* M/ T$ I* S) o
> > sanctioned under the company's mental health$ I* a. {5 J1 Q. V: y& G; P
> > policy.: X9 ?( I3 ^3 Z4 H- X
> >$ H5 |. y1 u* Q! |6 u: P
> > Lunch Break' ^( a4 P I: d* r
> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they4 Y3 W) b# \2 K- p! W
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.2 z0 f. Q! ?1 h! f% g
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to5 n9 x9 S. k8 ^+ s
> > maintain their average figure.7 q# ?$ a' `5 l0 D) u& L' e6 o
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time8 \$ ^; b7 @, d8 g! a9 l# z0 d
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.$ i0 c* l& A" U- g x6 k9 Y
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are5 ~0 d) ^1 t% B. [5 w& W; K. @
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive1 Z$ ^% o* h& K7 H
> > employment experience.
0 c# M: X1 K* U> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,2 d- Q6 a, w8 I% Y
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,% A- L4 m. y2 Q
> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
* c" ]: V! m, Z9 |# A> > directed elsewhere. |
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