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1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
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HR MEMO
To all Employees:. V, [ Q( s- Q; D/ i: W. k
> > Effective January 2007
. Z! P2 \" v) {7 w' {> >( ]; Q! O) G5 ]4 m# z3 {( J% i
> > Dress Code' P6 D3 Z' S j1 J3 q7 }5 n' Q
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed6 m4 U4 Q& V/ l( z% H7 T; s
> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
- ?# X* Q/ c- k1 H( L5 R> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume) h" K: U5 X3 Z6 l/ S8 f- Y
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not- h: C4 i$ [. ?8 u: e
> > need a pay raise.
3 k+ x8 U" R' _3 s: q6 s J7 V> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage
' {6 ~' y( A$ O* b> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer7 k1 v; _" q- I
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.6 l) F" p& ~5 c( }1 A
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you8 ^/ g3 _/ D- Q0 e# t
> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay
$ O' Q1 X8 q4 I> > raise.
5 O, ~: _' p4 N3 o/ W) d> >) r) g& }& x6 U0 S1 H8 ]
> > Sick Days s; ^: {0 z: e3 J1 W
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as$ o8 s3 e* T2 H: p/ p! o% x
> > proof of sickness.: _: \+ l- [" Q( G: t& x
> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
' y2 `& w. N1 @ M1 t# ?> > to come to work.; `8 G* [8 {- y7 F7 `
> >4 c# o Q; n+ D8 X Y& e
> > Holiday Days& h5 K3 N6 q+ d: m& A4 }* p: E
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a# {( ~/ L# S, j% _8 {7 V! }! x
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
4 f5 i2 K* I# z> >+ V( d. e% e2 `9 \& o
> > Compassionate Leave
, k4 r. G6 P) P; @1 B' i> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
) d" O/ t2 g$ C* }> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-
: _9 G7 X5 _+ m> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-: t( M f8 N8 \% J& N3 d( i0 M
> > employees attend to the arrangements.
" d) J1 W( H. j+ h2 W> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
% @ b6 K5 I% M# v> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
! k( m, l1 d9 r+ i0 j> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
" N* `0 h0 m' y" s; Y3 U* B% z& Z2 o9 D> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
6 L( G7 F* e$ s> > hour early.
& b$ D) v1 _1 @+ P* J> >2 b3 a6 @9 D+ b! t2 @* m; V
> > Toilet Use/ `( m# l w1 o8 K4 z" ?3 _
> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the- T: _! A( H" i( O
> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
( H( q8 Y# E3 J9 F> > in the cubicles.5 z; D3 s$ h8 d9 ^' h; j5 L& n6 b- u
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will
! W" P# ^5 s, h* g> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle& J% v9 F* \( A/ B' u
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.5 C5 i/ y9 N0 D/ j# X
> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be% l. Z+ |6 [$ b
> > posted on the company notice board under the
* O1 E7 \/ Z5 }1 j& x v> > "Chronic Offenders" category.7 U* l" u# h( ?& k# h+ s
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
; G2 _; F$ F; U. X, U* H> > sanctioned under the company's mental health/ a! f2 a% |2 V' W# b% y. a
> > policy. S( X! ^% T. M
> ># i, @4 K. |0 k! C2 \& i! u
> > Lunch Break
. _7 Y# l" {# E2 Y/ R; M/ y> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they* P6 D6 t5 h6 C( D
> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.5 \$ m G) p: R( f9 e' Y
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to7 p, H, }/ A5 }$ c! x# l
> > maintain their average figure.2 p. k( n& u' x
> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time0 Q2 Q2 V$ E7 x6 M! h
> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.9 Z1 [7 c& A y/ m$ ^4 I. d
> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are' z4 I4 n9 e$ f# Y
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive
5 Y+ n1 G1 |: [8 n> > employment experience.
9 s: G) p7 {" ~> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,+ ]. I4 w, z. v' D u1 X
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
5 D1 e! h8 P6 G k( |> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be
/ r- n2 z* n m! A" I) R> > directed elsewhere. |
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