|
- 帖子
- 83
- 精華
- 0
- 威望
- 33
- 魅力
- 0
- 讚好
- 0
|
1#
發表於 2007-8-7 12:24 PM
| 只看該作者
HR MEMO
To all Employees:3 V( c# @7 L! U$ `/ T) S( I# b
> > Effective January 2007
& h9 P2 R+ O: F7 o \, F> >' W% l0 N7 c) o( c+ I9 u! r3 d
> > Dress Code1 v+ l5 v8 ^4 X$ j
> > 1. It is advised that you come to work dressed
1 o4 q4 u2 |& o- ?> > according to your salary. If we see you wearing
% Y' T- B* Y8 n' C> > Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume9 ]! e/ \8 O0 U! J/ A4 F% ?2 \0 b
> > you are doing well financially and therefore do not$ S8 g0 J4 S8 T# X2 A3 f
> > need a pay raise.2 V8 F( n m0 r4 w7 H
> > 2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage' e3 u1 J! u' b9 c& t5 Z& n
> > your money better, so that you may buy nicer4 |1 X8 @9 f* U, a+ e* ?
> > clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise., c7 O) ^9 u6 S, d6 F3 \
> > 3. If you dress just right, you are right where you
& A4 F+ O) t& F; \6 B# P' q> > need to be and therefore you do not need a pay" S, r' h( G& I0 y
> > raise.3 r0 M" T7 l' o+ S8 ?( G
> >
% T; l. e+ S. j4 o! S> > Sick Days8 H. l0 c Z9 m9 e! }# T) \
> > We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as
1 K) i# `% Q/ R+ P ~0 j> > proof of sickness.
* U" ]: F( v5 v7 N> > If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able
# i: E/ {) S+ ?( c$ a4 y> > to come to work.
z: D3 ]! J) u. j> >- T+ {5 X+ c' M* w
> > Holiday Days" [- p4 f3 o7 `. X1 C
> > Each employee will receive 104 personal days a% Z Q7 ]: n1 k. c4 Y/ v2 f2 i
> > year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.; q t# f+ f0 i* U/ f" ?
> >
5 I% s$ `1 Z& T7 v& K* P> > Compassionate Leave
8 S8 q# J7 S- i5 [> > This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing
: \; e! y1 z% d: |$ P( S% n) Q> > you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-, Z$ I5 }" [/ G( Y
> > workers. Every effort should be made to have non-
/ z3 y! V' f4 w> > employees attend to the arrangements.0 X7 g" h, u ~$ ~) N2 F
> > In rare cases where employee involvement is
, O/ N( \; m B' T8 {1 K> > necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the
4 B) L1 w; |9 t. N8 e> > late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work
) [- l' l- q: e" ~> > through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one
$ X$ F2 P$ i% k% n- ]> > hour early.
3 D, Q/ L8 V3 z' z> >7 m# e4 P! A" Z$ e4 g
> > Toilet Use
5 r. b1 }1 g7 I" f> > 1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the
2 Z$ O6 y( G a4 C# ]' Z> > toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit
' M5 U$ K9 D; {. D7 n+ m9 R> > in the cubicles.* B8 B* p. r+ N3 u [% ?& A
> > 2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will5 H* c6 d) r, e8 `
> > sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle% t: R# m9 B6 i) |9 n
> > door will open, and your picture will be taken.
6 G" M* x0 d( r' G% B> > 3. After your second offence, your picture will be
g6 I p8 |3 `6 \> > posted on the company notice board under the+ q: h+ f+ G1 W) {1 b
> > "Chronic Offenders" category.5 ~) ?5 n9 w! D# _0 x5 J0 Z0 j
> > 4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be
# K# t% z" L, r/ R: Q, j> > sanctioned under the company's mental health
6 ?1 [7 X/ b' w: C0 j> > policy.
" N0 Z. R" N( t" ^8 M> >9 v0 J U) X. E3 _) k! X
> > Lunch Break
; u h4 E7 F/ k5 {9 @" h" V> > 1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they
; G) B0 O; N, d8 Z9 o> > need to eat more so that they can look healthy.9 w1 C* [- U( o8 |. t( C
> > 2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to
( i6 E1 R6 {. H2 m7 g> > maintain their average figure.
' P& e$ ? Q: {/ x# O$ n> > 3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time
" ?4 O3 s5 G* W; ?; X> > needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
) ]3 k+ k8 g; l$ }" K. y3 P$ b9 x> > Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are0 w, P' o2 e" y! l0 `
> > an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive, y" [5 g% i$ U7 V5 e( C4 A
> > employment experience.8 Z# b" [& ~; J* c W: G' }6 T
> > Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints,, B; [4 K- b$ Y3 f0 r
> > frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations,
% \/ g# e T1 f> > accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be2 f- q* u: e% z5 `
> > directed elsewhere. |
|
