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[English]: Jokes..

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1) A recent survey asked 100 sexually active men what they most enjoyed about a blow job- S) y3 K' Q5 b+ g3 M0 W" G
99.9% of them said, the 10 minutes of silence
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$ u8 A  g* J+ j! q4 H, s  @+ Q2) Advantages of having an affair with a married woman?% y3 y1 j- s- n' }5 f/ ]
a.They give like hell. / j2 Q& C0 W0 p
b.They do not yell.+ Y% b& X! S/ d
c.They do not tell.
) e! y5 E; g# b4 zd.They do not swell and there is no wedding bell.+ I. ]( c- W7 t1 H5 j, T. T

: v5 m7 P4 l: v3) A woman once said that a man is like a deck of playing cards. You need:
+ k9 G$ y( [2 p5 z8 _- a HEART to love him,9 M. M* a! |! X
- a DIAMOND to marry him,8 |; E, S- A: H0 Q
- a CLUB to smash his head in, and
, Z# K  X" Q' b. o$ F7 e/ _- a SPADE to bury him!2 H1 t/ r) J# F& Q% w$ t+ w

* ~% C/ s  C9 U! ~4) What is the similarity between a wife and a chewing gum?
0 f( ?* _" }; j8 X  R$ t& \Both are sweet in the beginning and become tasteless and shapeless later) B# `6 a' `3 s  Z
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5) What is the strongest muscle?1 g5 P' o& V, A
The tongue. It can raise a woman’s hip with just one lick!
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' X( J2 Z7 H# ~& r8 W* G6) Why is the 69 position like driving in rush hour?
, t! n4 i: G+ g, ~The arse hole is always in front of you." u0 [0 t+ ?& Q4 u' U

7 U" w% \9 e# T% d) W, Q7) What is the difference between a panty & a stage curtain?  m6 B% c" c( e4 Y4 M. Y
When you pull down the stage curtain, the show is over.. but when you pull down the panties, it’s SHOWTIME!- }; Y% {4 @7 }" n" E* q# {
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8) A divorced man meets his ex-wife’s new husband at a party. Later after knocking back a few drinks, he goes over to the new guy and asks him: So... how do you like using second hand stuff?
' ~0 h3 O* t4 uThe new husband replied: It isn’t that bad. Past the first three inches, it’s all brand new.
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